"The Cracker Ladder" And Other Stories

The time was 5:30 pm on a Thursday afternoon.  The air was still and hot inside our apartment as I roamed the "kitchen" looking for something to eat.  Trying to find food within my criteria (anything that can be eaten without having to be prepared first), I reached for a half-empty bag of wheat thins from our freezer.

Not wanting to enjoy these delicious salty wafers in the broiling oven that we call our house, I decided that outside would be a good place to have my snack.  I look out the window.

kids.

Hmm.  I did the math.
kids + teacher with crackers = human vending machine.

Feeling a little selfish about my small stash of crackers, I snuck down our incredibly creaky stairs and casually said hello to the kids.

"Hey guys."
"Hi teecha."
"Having fun on the new seesaw?"
"Yes."

They eyed me suspiciously.

I scanned the area for a good stakeout to eat my crackers.  I needed a high place.  Driven by the intense rumbling of my stomach, I spotted the perfect place.  With long, quiet strides, I reached the base of the slide ladder.  I climbed up the sketchy steps to the top, with my head brushing the leaves of the mango tree above.  Perfect.

Now perched on the top of the slide, I reached into the back of wheat thins.

CRACKLECRACKLECRACKLECRUNCHCRACKLECRUNCH.

The whoosh of children's heads turning was almost audible from my perfect little vantage point.  I had been discovered.

"TEECHA GIVE ME SOME!"
"TEEEEECCHHHAAAAAA!"
"TEECH GIVE!"

I made a textbook mistake by giving in and dropping one cracker to Nelly below me.  Instantly I was a vending machine.  Kids started coming out of the woodwork, appearing from behind trees and the seesaw and probably the ground.  I had to be fair, so I dropped a cracker to each child.  Mitchigo's little sister, Thelma, was toddling after the older kids with the promise of a cracker.  Being only 3 years old, her motor skills weren't quite up to par.  I dropped a cracker from my perch and it landed right on her head.  She looked puzzled and disappointed at the fallen cracker, and looked up with her beady little eyes in hopes for another one.  After the 6th cracker, she decided she needed to attack the source.  A small brigade of toddlers started making their way up my ladder, babbling things in Kosraen that I didn't understand.

I was outnumbered.  We signed the peace treaty at the top of the slide, and they each received one cracker.

The End.



At this moment I just made a comment to Ryan about these times when I finish a blog, and then I read it back and wonder why I'm even blogging about this.  But then its too late, so I keep it anyway.


Crackers from the tropics,


River