The Isle of Kosrae- A Missionary's Account: The Assignment From _______

I truly believe that some textbook writers have a sick, twisted sense of humor. A long time ago, some 46 year old English professor was sitting at his desk in the publishing office after a long, boring day and decided to add some spice to a chapter in the 3rd grade English textbook he is working on. This book moves from school to school, until finally it ends up in the Kosrae SDA school library.

Fast forward to yesterday.

"Alright 3rd grade, pull out your English books and turn to page 23!"

Chaos ensues, and after about 3 minutes everyone is finally sitting at their desk with their books turned to page 23.

"Okay, today we are going to be learning about 'yes' and 'no' questions."

After a brief lesson on this seemingly easy subject, I dished out their short assignment.

"On your paper, I want to you look at the question in the book and write 'yes' if it is a 'yes or no' question, and 'no' if it isn't. Does everyone understand?"

A sea of heads nod up and down with a vacant look in their eyes. The instant I sat down in my desk, my English assignment started attacking me back. Looking down at my gradebook, I got this heavy sensation that I was being quietly summoned. I slowly lifted my eyes, and sure enough. Hands were raised in the air like a garden of well-fertilized cornstalks. I reluctantly picked my first victim.

Student: "Teecha....I....well.....do you...how..........what?"

Teacher: "Ok, so you need to look at this question, and tell me if it is a 'yes or no' question. It asks 'Is there forest in Kansas?'"

Student: "No."

Teacher: "So see, it can be answered with 'no'! So it's a 'yes or no' question."

Student: "So I write down 'no'."

Teacher: "No, you would write down 'yes' because it is a 'yes or no' question."

I can see the vacancy sign being hung in the student's eyes.

Teacher: "So, answer this question for me: Is there forest in Kansas?"

Student: "I don't know!"

Teacher: "Of course. Well, pretend you did know. What could you answer with?"

Student: "No."

Teacher: "Yes, perfect!"

Student: "Wait, yes?"

Teacher: "Well, yes or no. It doesn't matter. So if it is 'yes' or 'no', put 'yes' on your paper. Otherwise put 'no'.

Student: "So 'no'?"

Teacher: "No! 'Yes'!"

Student: "'Yes'?"

Teacher: "Yes!!"

The student finally shows a little spark in her eye, as if understanding has been granted to her. A long, painful period of time passes as I watch the pencil move in slow motion towards the paper. Millimeters away from making contact, the pencil pulls back up.

"Wait teecha, so what do I put?"

What kind of sick and twisted joke is it to publish an assignment like this? I started to laugh out loud right there in my desk, and the student seemed to enjoy that. I had the urge to walk right out of my door and into the swampy jungle, never to return again. I was convinced that somewhere in the classroom was a hidden camera, being watched by that same English professor that wrote this terrible assignment.

In conclusion, here are some random pictures. Enjoy.